Tuesday, September 30, 2014

End of September 2014

I am blown away yet again, when I think that not much more can change it does.

I cant stop Praising God for He is so good and His Mercy is abundant, His Grace washes over me.

So anyway

Wade went in August for his first series of Botox, and it is working, instead of taking handfuls of overthe counter nsaids he takes two if he needs to and a bottle lasts a long time. He had an enlarged liver we feel he over dosed himself constantly on tylenol, after he had bleeding from ASA
The other kinds arent any better still cause bleeding andlong term abuse of any type will kill you.His specialist got that through his head finally.

He is now goinig to all family get togethers and enjoying them, no longer uncomefortable.Oh he is getting there slowly

I see in him determiation mental physical and spiritually. He strives, just as he saw he was physically not fit any more. Wade is doing pushups, at first he did them upright against the counter inthe kitchen now he does 90, and is going to add sit ups too. he walks everywhere.

He oonly has to see specialist for his needles now, no need to go back. Family doctor can take care of everything.Only once everythree to 6 months the trip to London. Hooray

Me? my life goes on, I am losing weight again feeling more human and happy.
I am finding my back and left leg and foot are painful still a full year after my fall. Arthritis is active  too. i will talk to doctor when I see him.

Fred is trimming out the windows he put in several years ago, life is going on  now. Fred talks to me about how he is dealing with life now, I know it is hard for him.

My youngest Kyle is doing well he is on heavy equipment more at his job learning . He had given up hoping that he would be trained .

Thanksgiving soon will be here not sure exactly what we are doing, probibly going up to Scone trailer park for a meal with Freds familly and see my parents for a wile too. hope dad will let me cook and not havve mom get too up tight over preperation.


God gives us good gifts but we dont always recognise them.


Thursday, May 8, 2014

He will be 31

My head reels with the shoke that Wade will be 31 on May 18,  How is it possible?

We have gotten into some semblence of normal now. A weir normal but as normal can be for us.

Wade and Kyle have the cutest little place it is like the granny flats everyone is building now. at 850 a month it is reasonable for the two of them. and they get to keep BB dog.

We still wait for legal matters for insurance to be settled in court, it is hard on Wade as he longs to have a house in another town to start all over again.I really hate leaving my house but I under stand why. we will need to be with him too, he cant live on his own and the money we owe on our mortgage we cant just up sell and buy all by oourselves either. it will be good to find a house that will give us each some privacy.
God will provide when it is time. we have seen several come and go that would be great, but we keep prayiing in Gods timing.

Wade still has raging migraines and I have convinced him that he needs to see his specialist who will give him Botox injections and help him. meds dont work.
I know when he is hurting his eyes are swollen and he is pale and short of temper .

A lot of my son is back, like his humour , but some is still missing. He is pretty happy but bored, he needs some other little jobs to do that wont tax him. its been a long winter.

Now I am dooing well,did 12 step this time helped lead it. went well too.
His Father had things pretty well buried but had to give a deposition and it waas hard on him, bought everything back, but he is beeter able now to deal with things.

Did I mention we had to close the little yarn shop down, but financially because Fred is still working and getting pension It helps himwe are better off me not working right now. when Fred quits I hope to have something on the go .
We had some dark and lean times but God always kept us and we are so thankful. he is Gracious and loving Father.

perhaops one day we will understand why this all happend , by then it wont matter.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Labour Day and My Sons participation

A time of family and friends for most its simple and relaxing fun. For most that is...

His Aunt comes once a year to visit and we go, but havent since his brain injury. This year was different we went and had both sons consent to going. A great time was had, as much smoked pork as anyonr could eat it rained but the rain even stopped in time for dinner. Sweet!

All were genuinely happy to see our son but he felt persecuted as his uncle asked if he was working and son bluntly said no!!! Wrong answer, he is working on Saturdays and gets oter occasional ework to do all summer. He feels ashamed, and humiliated by the fact he does not have a  ``real job, pulling in fulltimes wages``, it makes him feel useless.
I interjected and explained what is going on.

We have jumped through so many hoops he has come along so far. farther than was expected. aNeuro pshic said that it was his strong will and body and all the hard work we as his family has done that accomplished this.I give credit to All who prayed and our Great and amazing God.

I had fell apart in the spring but with love prayers good friends and mild antidepressent I am back on track.
We are slowly geting back into life again. We are preparing our house perhaps to sell and move . our son wants to move away frim his daily reminders and wants us to as well.His doctors felt it would be a good thing too.

I know this wont happen until next year, I am finding thee idea hard. This isthe house we have lived in since thye children were small. the first house we ever owned

well I wish I could say more but you will have to waitr like me for the end or beginning if you wish to call it that.nearly forgot a specialist has told us he has 2 more years of brain healing and he will come along more.




Monday, April 8, 2013

April 2013,time is flying

hi all, its me.
Guess ya all thought I got lost...

Well I probably did for a time, anyhow
It has been a struggle, doctors, lawyers .you name it, it likely has happened.

so what has been going on,
I am on hiatus from life right now,
so stressed but I am getting better, Fred is looking more human, and Kyle is happier lately more relaxed...

But it isn't us that you want to know about is it?

OK! OK!

Wade is much better he has come a long way folks.
But he still isn't the same, guess he never will be.

He and Kyle are sharing a nice apartment in town,
they have a beagle dog called BB Don't ask what the initials stand for.She is a sweet dog. They all seem to get a long well.

Wade wants to work but we are told he cant work full time and certainly not in a stressful environment, is there any other kind. The family Y is working to find him a job, my fingers are crossed.

There is so much I would love to share but at present I am not able to do so.

Just pray for us and hope by the time year 3 post injury rolls around our lives will be simpler.




Friday, July 6, 2012

I cried today

So I have been feeling tied up in knots . My tummy hurts at time the old BP up and when I smile there are tension lines around my mouth.My backisso tight you could bounce quarters off it.head aches abound as does muscle pain.

I havent really been able to cry a cleansing bawl,

Today I was alone at work, I looked across the street and saw my son walk into the grocery store. His gate still awkward looking, not quite at ease.Earlier as I went to leave home he responded to myI love you son with I love you too ma.

I had closed my eyes and remembered the quick footed and nimble son, the one hwho called me maz, yhe one alwaysready with a joke. And I cried.

Silent tears rolled down my cheeks, here 17 monthsafterhis injury I am conceeding that he will never be thebefore person agoin,my mother heart can barely handle this, I want to run after him and hold him and protect him at all cost.

Myman son, flesh of my flesh part of me died that night , part of me will always grieve part of me years to come.
All of me wants onlythebest for him, I want him to have a full and happy life filled with a job, a wife and children. he deserves that , its called normalicy.


Monday, April 16, 2012

At this Point in time.

Well  I am back again.Life has   been throwing lots at us doesnt it do that to all? If we are alive, life doesnt stay static,it is ever changing and I thank God for that as that means there is hope for all.

Wade seen the specilist a week and a half ago and he is doing very well. He has changed so much that Dr.didnt recognize him, he came in and looked at Wade , Fred,and me and back to Wade and shook his head.

I can hardly beleive it has been just over a year now. So much has went on. so much haschanged and yet so much has stayed the same.

In 8 months Wade will return to London for another appointment, and we hope he will be able by them to obtain a learners permit to drive, and to return to a job. Those are his goals at this time.

Now the rest of us are trying to remake our lives.Fred will be retiring in January, but wont stop working Im sure, Kyle has a good job now in construction for which I am so thankful,and I well I  still have my yarn.

I want to say thank you to all who have prayed and sent well wishes, could not have made it through these months with out them.

I do have more to say  but cannot at this point in time. hang in.


Tuesday, February 14, 2012

The end of year one

It seems hardly possible that in a few more days it will be one year since all our lives have been changed. So much is different and so much lost.
I have told others I will celebrate Wades survival and improvement, but deep inside this mothers breast is grief. Grief for all that could have been, of loss, of what ifs ,of what will never be.I know I am not alone in this, Freddie my love walks around looking old and tired and wore out, heavy is the burden he carries too.
Kyle pretends he is ok with everything, but I know he too is deeply affected. he goes out very little and is almost secretive with his emotions. He rarely drinks anymore, I had worried he would drink more.

Wade is more child like living in the here and now, only worried about immediate satisfaction. He doesnt fully understand the meanings in overheard conversations and  flies off the handle. He resists help but accepts it because it  means one step closer to Independence.

Wade was greatly helped by the Brain injury modified anger management sessions he had but is assured that of he needs to talk the door will always be open to him.This was out of Parkwood in London On.excellent institute.

Right now He is involved with Dale Brain Injury-a fantastic organization. He tells me he is doing it only because he wants to work full time. Wonderful, what ever motivates him.

Wade does 2 hrs at a time 2x a week volunteer work at the local Habitat for Humanity Re Store.and he is doing well there.It gives him purpose in life.

I am fully convinced that if his desire to live  and to work had not been so strong he would not have progressed so far so fast. He fought against restraints rules confinement of any kind \he fought for Independence and I am so \proud of him.
Sure he does come down ion me at times and gets angry but he is not out of control he thinks about his actions and will apologize if he knows he is wrong.

There is a long road ahead of him, and I  know that he will and does get frustrated and down about his situation. that is my job to encourage and assist him to go on.

Through our tragedy we have become a close family, taking care of each other and learning to love each other unconditionally.Faith in God is strengthened he brought us through it all