Thursday, July 9, 2015

closing of an old story, the new beginning.

I look back and shake my head, who ever thought I would say things are normal, not as they were but the new normal. I am smiling as I say this.

By September  Wade will be purchasing a home of his own, he is able to finally get on with his life make plans and hope again. and his father and I are so glad.

All of us are weary of this long hard journey,through the darkness with storms raging, and things in the storm reaching out to grasp and tear and rip our being to shreds, but God did not allow it, there were times we were feeling undone, vulnerable and lost, but Jesus held us to himself cradled in his loving arms.

The battle with the insurance company is over, and has brought great relief, we now now where we stand.

The Botox injections have worked so well, that Wade took his last in June and will not need anymore. The trips to Parkwood are done and we are joy filled with relief.He now has an occasional ordinary tylenol in regular dosage head ache and rarely!

He is wearing glasses and looks so darned cute in them.And he has a lovely new implant tooth. How proud I am that he has nearly payed off the dentist and optrician on the meagre ODSP and CDP that he recieves.He has become a very thrifty and careful manager of funds.

Wade has learned who is a real friend , and those who only for what they coould get from him. We all need to learn that lesson, I for one was hurt for several years by one who called herself my friend but only used me for what she could get. But I will not ever regret it for her children benefitted mat least, while she never learned but blamed everyone for her poor judgements and greed. I wish only the best for her future as a new wife.

Fred is tired, and I am hoping he will soon be able to retire. We want to sell our home, not that it was what we originally planned, but now we believe it will be better for us. He has been at myside ever stalward, and needs to be taken care of and favored just a bit.

Kyle is doing well, and is healing and recovering from all of this stress and pain as well. He is also a fine young man, and I am so prooud of him, he isrunning a big piece of heavy equipment for a large construction company, exactly what he has wanted to do. He is moving forward and seems happy.

I am sane again, I am turning my life with Gods help aroound, I am losing the weight I regained, and want to lose even more, my BP, Blood sugars are under control, and I am changing my whole eating and exercise program. I had fell 21/2 yrs ago(I think). From that point I am so much better, a recumbent stationary bike was instrumental in my recoovery, and my volunteer job at the local Thrift store as well.

I should like someday to write a book, perhaps. For now I will down load this to a usb drive and a hard copy, and sleep on it some. I have journals too .

No we dont stay the same, if we allow God He will change us, nurture us strengthen and grow us into the people He wants us to become. Far better not to rail against Him but to say OK Lord What now? and allow him his hand.

How do I close,...
with a song, a doxology I think would be most appropriate...

Friday, February 6, 2015

a post script so I dont forget

Wade and I have wonderful talks, so this past week we were chatting. He confessed to me that he still has those feelings of weakness in his lower legs. I am stunned he has not spoken about this for a very long time. I am documenting it here so \I do not forget.

2015 a Belaited Happy New Year

Well it is February and the 5th anniversary of My sons Fall is soon approaching.I can hardly believe it.

Sometimes I think that all this has been a dream this long road back to life. We meaning the whole family has changed. everyone is more intense about life, no longer do we take it so lightly. I am out of my depression and am so much more alive than I have been for all these years, Fred my dear is happier, and more content accepting of all that has and is happening, and our Youngest son has learned to get past it all as well and is living his life enjoying his new car,, and looking ahead to his future

I am not sure about Wade, I know he lives day to day, he does have hope, he has come to grips with how his life is now but I often wonder what plans he has for a wife, family and a future. He keeps telling us he is fine, happy he is forgiving family who have treated him shabbily, he has re engaged in his relation ship with my parents, especially my dad. He had been so bitter because they had not visited him in hospital or rehab, that they never called or wrote him. (it hurt me so as well, and I am not as over it as he is)

it is such relief for him to have those Botox injections, his liver is back to normal size, he had high cholesterol but is on meds for that as well, and is getting treatment for the acne breakouts that have plagued him really bad since his brain injury. It is good for his own view of himself not to have such  marred skin all over him. He is such a handsome man.

Gods Grace has brought us this far, through the horror the dark times the confusion, the anger into the light of the cross where our burdens are relieved shed. It is not us but Christ who bears the burdens that are ours .
How compassionate and loving Christ is , words fail me except to sing  His praises over and over until at last I will stand before the Father and then I will sing for eternity

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

End of September 2014

I am blown away yet again, when I think that not much more can change it does.

I cant stop Praising God for He is so good and His Mercy is abundant, His Grace washes over me.

So anyway

Wade went in August for his first series of Botox, and it is working, instead of taking handfuls of overthe counter nsaids he takes two if he needs to and a bottle lasts a long time. He had an enlarged liver we feel he over dosed himself constantly on tylenol, after he had bleeding from ASA
The other kinds arent any better still cause bleeding andlong term abuse of any type will kill you.His specialist got that through his head finally.

He is now goinig to all family get togethers and enjoying them, no longer uncomefortable.Oh he is getting there slowly

I see in him determiation mental physical and spiritually. He strives, just as he saw he was physically not fit any more. Wade is doing pushups, at first he did them upright against the counter inthe kitchen now he does 90, and is going to add sit ups too. he walks everywhere.

He oonly has to see specialist for his needles now, no need to go back. Family doctor can take care of everything.Only once everythree to 6 months the trip to London. Hooray

Me? my life goes on, I am losing weight again feeling more human and happy.
I am finding my back and left leg and foot are painful still a full year after my fall. Arthritis is active  too. i will talk to doctor when I see him.

Fred is trimming out the windows he put in several years ago, life is going on  now. Fred talks to me about how he is dealing with life now, I know it is hard for him.

My youngest Kyle is doing well he is on heavy equipment more at his job learning . He had given up hoping that he would be trained .

Thanksgiving soon will be here not sure exactly what we are doing, probibly going up to Scone trailer park for a meal with Freds familly and see my parents for a wile too. hope dad will let me cook and not havve mom get too up tight over preperation.

God gives us good gifts but we dont always recognise them.

Thursday, May 8, 2014

He will be 31

My head reels with the shoke that Wade will be 31 on May 18,  How is it possible?

We have gotten into some semblence of normal now. A weir normal but as normal can be for us.

Wade and Kyle have the cutest little place it is like the granny flats everyone is building now. at 850 a month it is reasonable for the two of them. and they get to keep BB dog.

We still wait for legal matters for insurance to be settled in court, it is hard on Wade as he longs to have a house in another town to start all over again.I really hate leaving my house but I under stand why. we will need to be with him too, he cant live on his own and the money we owe on our mortgage we cant just up sell and buy all by oourselves either. it will be good to find a house that will give us each some privacy.
God will provide when it is time. we have seen several come and go that would be great, but we keep prayiing in Gods timing.

Wade still has raging migraines and I have convinced him that he needs to see his specialist who will give him Botox injections and help him. meds dont work.
I know when he is hurting his eyes are swollen and he is pale and short of temper .

A lot of my son is back, like his humour , but some is still missing. He is pretty happy but bored, he needs some other little jobs to do that wont tax him. its been a long winter.

Now I am dooing well,did 12 step this time helped lead it. went well too.
His Father had things pretty well buried but had to give a deposition and it waas hard on him, bought everything back, but he is beeter able now to deal with things.

Did I mention we had to close the little yarn shop down, but financially because Fred is still working and getting pension It helps himwe are better off me not working right now. when Fred quits I hope to have something on the go .
We had some dark and lean times but God always kept us and we are so thankful. he is Gracious and loving Father.

perhaops one day we will understand why this all happend , by then it wont matter.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Labour Day and My Sons participation

A time of family and friends for most its simple and relaxing fun. For most that is...

His Aunt comes once a year to visit and we go, but havent since his brain injury. This year was different we went and had both sons consent to going. A great time was had, as much smoked pork as anyonr could eat it rained but the rain even stopped in time for dinner. Sweet!

All were genuinely happy to see our son but he felt persecuted as his uncle asked if he was working and son bluntly said no!!! Wrong answer, he is working on Saturdays and gets oter occasional ework to do all summer. He feels ashamed, and humiliated by the fact he does not have a  ``real job, pulling in fulltimes wages``, it makes him feel useless.
I interjected and explained what is going on.

We have jumped through so many hoops he has come along so far. farther than was expected. aNeuro pshic said that it was his strong will and body and all the hard work we as his family has done that accomplished this.I give credit to All who prayed and our Great and amazing God.

I had fell apart in the spring but with love prayers good friends and mild antidepressent I am back on track.
We are slowly geting back into life again. We are preparing our house perhaps to sell and move . our son wants to move away frim his daily reminders and wants us to as well.His doctors felt it would be a good thing too.

I know this wont happen until next year, I am finding thee idea hard. This isthe house we have lived in since thye children were small. the first house we ever owned

well I wish I could say more but you will have to waitr like me for the end or beginning if you wish to call it that.nearly forgot a specialist has told us he has 2 more years of brain healing and he will come along more.