hi all, its me.
Guess ya all thought I got lost...
Well I probably did for a time, anyhow
It has been a struggle, doctors, lawyers .you name it, it likely has happened.
so what has been going on,
I am on hiatus from life right now,
so stressed but I am getting better, Fred is looking more human, and Kyle is happier lately more relaxed...
But it isn't us that you want to know about is it?
OK! OK!
Wade is much better he has come a long way folks.
But he still isn't the same, guess he never will be.
He and Kyle are sharing a nice apartment in town,
they have a beagle dog called BB Don't ask what the initials stand for.She is a sweet dog. They all seem to get a long well.
Wade wants to work but we are told he cant work full time and certainly not in a stressful environment, is there any other kind. The family Y is working to find him a job, my fingers are crossed.
There is so much I would love to share but at present I am not able to do so.
Just pray for us and hope by the time year 3 post injury rolls around our lives will be simpler.
Monday, April 8, 2013
Friday, July 6, 2012
I cried today
So I have been feeling tied up in knots . My tummy hurts at time the old BP up and when I smile there are tension lines around my mouth.My backisso tight you could bounce quarters off it.head aches abound as does muscle pain.
I havent really been able to cry a cleansing bawl,
Today I was alone at work, I looked across the street and saw my son walk into the grocery store. His gate still awkward looking, not quite at ease.Earlier as I went to leave home he responded to myI love you son with I love you too ma.
I had closed my eyes and remembered the quick footed and nimble son, the one hwho called me maz, yhe one alwaysready with a joke. And I cried.
Silent tears rolled down my cheeks, here 17 monthsafterhis injury I am conceeding that he will never be thebefore person agoin,my mother heart can barely handle this, I want to run after him and hold him and protect him at all cost.
Myman son, flesh of my flesh part of me died that night , part of me will always grieve part of me years to come.
All of me wants onlythebest for him, I want him to have a full and happy life filled with a job, a wife and children. he deserves that , its called normalicy.
I havent really been able to cry a cleansing bawl,
Today I was alone at work, I looked across the street and saw my son walk into the grocery store. His gate still awkward looking, not quite at ease.Earlier as I went to leave home he responded to myI love you son with I love you too ma.
I had closed my eyes and remembered the quick footed and nimble son, the one hwho called me maz, yhe one alwaysready with a joke. And I cried.
Silent tears rolled down my cheeks, here 17 monthsafterhis injury I am conceeding that he will never be thebefore person agoin,my mother heart can barely handle this, I want to run after him and hold him and protect him at all cost.
Myman son, flesh of my flesh part of me died that night , part of me will always grieve part of me years to come.
All of me wants onlythebest for him, I want him to have a full and happy life filled with a job, a wife and children. he deserves that , its called normalicy.
Monday, April 16, 2012
At this Point in time.
Well I am back again.Life has been throwing lots at us doesnt it do that to all? If we are alive, life doesnt stay static,it is ever changing and I thank God for that as that means there is hope for all.
Wade seen the specilist a week and a half ago and he is doing very well. He has changed so much that Dr.didnt recognize him, he came in and looked at Wade , Fred,and me and back to Wade and shook his head.
I can hardly beleive it has been just over a year now. So much has went on. so much haschanged and yet so much has stayed the same.
In 8 months Wade will return to London for another appointment, and we hope he will be able by them to obtain a learners permit to drive, and to return to a job. Those are his goals at this time.
Now the rest of us are trying to remake our lives.Fred will be retiring in January, but wont stop working Im sure, Kyle has a good job now in construction for which I am so thankful,and I well I still have my yarn.
I want to say thank you to all who have prayed and sent well wishes, could not have made it through these months with out them.
I do have more to say but cannot at this point in time. hang in.
Wade seen the specilist a week and a half ago and he is doing very well. He has changed so much that Dr.didnt recognize him, he came in and looked at Wade , Fred,and me and back to Wade and shook his head.
I can hardly beleive it has been just over a year now. So much has went on. so much haschanged and yet so much has stayed the same.
In 8 months Wade will return to London for another appointment, and we hope he will be able by them to obtain a learners permit to drive, and to return to a job. Those are his goals at this time.
Now the rest of us are trying to remake our lives.Fred will be retiring in January, but wont stop working Im sure, Kyle has a good job now in construction for which I am so thankful,and I well I still have my yarn.
I want to say thank you to all who have prayed and sent well wishes, could not have made it through these months with out them.
I do have more to say but cannot at this point in time. hang in.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
The end of year one
It seems hardly possible that in a few more days it will be one year since all our lives have been changed. So much is different and so much lost.
I have told others I will celebrate Wades survival and improvement, but deep inside this mothers breast is grief. Grief for all that could have been, of loss, of what ifs ,of what will never be.I know I am not alone in this, Freddie my love walks around looking old and tired and wore out, heavy is the burden he carries too.
Kyle pretends he is ok with everything, but I know he too is deeply affected. he goes out very little and is almost secretive with his emotions. He rarely drinks anymore, I had worried he would drink more.
Wade is more child like living in the here and now, only worried about immediate satisfaction. He doesnt fully understand the meanings in overheard conversations and flies off the handle. He resists help but accepts it because it means one step closer to Independence.
Wade was greatly helped by the Brain injury modified anger management sessions he had but is assured that of he needs to talk the door will always be open to him.This was out of Parkwood in London On.excellent institute.
Right now He is involved with Dale Brain Injury-a fantastic organization. He tells me he is doing it only because he wants to work full time. Wonderful, what ever motivates him.
Wade does 2 hrs at a time 2x a week volunteer work at the local Habitat for Humanity Re Store.and he is doing well there.It gives him purpose in life.
I am fully convinced that if his desire to live and to work had not been so strong he would not have progressed so far so fast. He fought against restraints rules confinement of any kind \he fought for Independence and I am so \proud of him.
Sure he does come down ion me at times and gets angry but he is not out of control he thinks about his actions and will apologize if he knows he is wrong.
There is a long road ahead of him, and I know that he will and does get frustrated and down about his situation. that is my job to encourage and assist him to go on.
Through our tragedy we have become a close family, taking care of each other and learning to love each other unconditionally.Faith in God is strengthened he brought us through it all
I have told others I will celebrate Wades survival and improvement, but deep inside this mothers breast is grief. Grief for all that could have been, of loss, of what ifs ,of what will never be.I know I am not alone in this, Freddie my love walks around looking old and tired and wore out, heavy is the burden he carries too.
Kyle pretends he is ok with everything, but I know he too is deeply affected. he goes out very little and is almost secretive with his emotions. He rarely drinks anymore, I had worried he would drink more.
Wade is more child like living in the here and now, only worried about immediate satisfaction. He doesnt fully understand the meanings in overheard conversations and flies off the handle. He resists help but accepts it because it means one step closer to Independence.
Wade was greatly helped by the Brain injury modified anger management sessions he had but is assured that of he needs to talk the door will always be open to him.This was out of Parkwood in London On.excellent institute.
Right now He is involved with Dale Brain Injury-a fantastic organization. He tells me he is doing it only because he wants to work full time. Wonderful, what ever motivates him.
Wade does 2 hrs at a time 2x a week volunteer work at the local Habitat for Humanity Re Store.and he is doing well there.It gives him purpose in life.
I am fully convinced that if his desire to live and to work had not been so strong he would not have progressed so far so fast. He fought against restraints rules confinement of any kind \he fought for Independence and I am so \proud of him.
Sure he does come down ion me at times and gets angry but he is not out of control he thinks about his actions and will apologize if he knows he is wrong.
There is a long road ahead of him, and I know that he will and does get frustrated and down about his situation. that is my job to encourage and assist him to go on.
Through our tragedy we have become a close family, taking care of each other and learning to love each other unconditionally.Faith in God is strengthened he brought us through it all
Sunday, January 8, 2012
2012 A New Outlook
Wow,a new year.
We made it, barely,but we made it. Correction God brought us through and will continue to do so but we must bring our needs to him, and our wants as well.
I have learnt to be quick to the knee and even quicker to admit I need help. pride use to prevent me from humbling myself at the foot of the cross but no more. My Father wants to have an intimate relationship with meas any loving father with his child. No stiff necked pride is going to stop me anymore. Even though I have called my self a believer for 39 yrs I now can truly proclaim I am I child of the King and have began to understand my position.
Fred too has grown enormously and we continue to hope for our sons to re acknowledge the faith they once professed. I believe it will happen.
more will come about Wade and his wonderful progress. I am so excited but how do I tell all in one short blog.as well as other family news.
God bless and keep you all and I pray his best for your life friends.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
I have not Blogged for a long time
I have not been able to blog about Wade as I had gotten to the point I couldnt.
IAM BACK and better than before.
My hands are not shaking anymore and my mind is much clearer.
I have spent time on Daily Strength in groups that were for Traumatic Brain injury and ones for caregivers.
For a while I thought I was going crazy but with Godds love and healing and wonderful people who haave supported me I made it through.
Wade updare
It has been interesting, we found out we live in a black holeor it appear sas one.CCC has been exhausted for any help we could get. I fiind out that the care had been manouveered on his behalf that most in this area dont get what he got
this is the list as far as I can remember
-social worker once every 2to 4 weeks
-physio twice a month
Occupational therapy- 1 to 2 times amonth
Support Worker(which as soon as possible Wade asked to quit as he didnt need a baby sitter)
now since beginning of October he has had
1 assesment by Dale Brain injury and yes he qualified to go onto their wait llist for help.
visits from Dan a therapist from Parkwood hospital for emotional restoring
- a gym membership paid for by a local group because he does not qualify for usage of local hospital equipment(bah)
-now able to do some volunteer work with habitat for humanity in the local Restore.he is excited about this.
I am thankful and amazed at how far and how fast Wade has recovered.
He is more in control of himself
I do not miss the rampageshe would go onbreaking things throwing food and screaming.
Ihave had food spit on me even but Wadenever eveer tried to hit any one.
Because of that Iam ableto continue, the worst he has done lately is rip up the calander because he really was tired of allthe visits
I am beat now so I will stop.
IAM BACK and better than before.
My hands are not shaking anymore and my mind is much clearer.
I have spent time on Daily Strength in groups that were for Traumatic Brain injury and ones for caregivers.
For a while I thought I was going crazy but with Godds love and healing and wonderful people who haave supported me I made it through.
Wade updare
It has been interesting, we found out we live in a black holeor it appear sas one.CCC has been exhausted for any help we could get. I fiind out that the care had been manouveered on his behalf that most in this area dont get what he got
this is the list as far as I can remember
-social worker once every 2to 4 weeks
-physio twice a month
Occupational therapy- 1 to 2 times amonth
Support Worker(which as soon as possible Wade asked to quit as he didnt need a baby sitter)
now since beginning of October he has had
1 assesment by Dale Brain injury and yes he qualified to go onto their wait llist for help.
visits from Dan a therapist from Parkwood hospital for emotional restoring
- a gym membership paid for by a local group because he does not qualify for usage of local hospital equipment(bah)
-now able to do some volunteer work with habitat for humanity in the local Restore.he is excited about this.
I am thankful and amazed at how far and how fast Wade has recovered.
He is more in control of himself
I do not miss the rampageshe would go onbreaking things throwing food and screaming.
Ihave had food spit on me even but Wadenever eveer tried to hit any one.
Because of that Iam ableto continue, the worst he has done lately is rip up the calander because he really was tired of allthe visits
I am beat now so I will stop.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Hot and Humid-Tempers Flair
So it has been very hot , Wade is upset and isn't going very far. He is not socializing and i worry. Wade doesn't want to volunteer but ow else will he acclimatize himself to the work environment. Tuesday he will be going to the work fair office in town for help as he does not have any income as yet. It has been hard on him being dependent on us for spending money, no 28 yr old likes that. I so look forward to the day that Wade has independence in every thing. I don't go very far with out him, and I need to have a break but working 6 days a week lately while Fred is on holidays has been a strain and I have into done any house work. I feel so depressed but what do I do??Fred started renovations yet again but with the heat he has stopped. I come home to the same mess everyday and 2 others here all day.
My Grace is Sufficient for thee keeps running around my head my grace, my grace, MY --GRACE --IS YOUR SUFFICIENCY ---ASK AND YOU WILL RECEIVE IT SEEK IT AND YOU WILL FIND KNOCK AND THE DOOR WILL BE OPENED FOR YOU......................
My Grace is Sufficient for thee keeps running around my head my grace, my grace, MY --GRACE --IS YOUR SUFFICIENCY ---ASK AND YOU WILL RECEIVE IT SEEK IT AND YOU WILL FIND KNOCK AND THE DOOR WILL BE OPENED FOR YOU......................
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